Around two years ago, my grandfather came to me with an interesting predicament. He teaches religious school for a group of middle and high school students in Florida, and several of them didn’t believe their prayers did anything or went anywhere.
He wanted to know how he could explain to these kids why it was worth praying if they didn’t believe someone was answering. I thought about this for a few minutes, acknowledging that this is a big challenge, and decided to start small.
“Have you asked them about wishes?” I asked him. He looked at me, a bit puzzled.
Now, one thing that is rarely brought up in conversations about prayer is that almost everybody wishes. It’s part of our culture. You blow out the birthday candles and make a wish every year like clockwork on your birthday. When you see a shooting star, when you find a four-leaf clover and when you put a coin in a fountain, you make a wish.
Some people even wish twice a day, when the clock says 11:11. When my mom is making chicken and matzo ball soup, we fight over who gets to tug on the wishbone for another opportunity to wish.
Who is that wish for? Who are you hoping hears you? It’s not quite the same as a goal or an aspiration to accomplish things you have control over. I’ve never blown out the candles and wished, “I wish to go for a run every day this year,” or “I wish to lower my screen time.”
What is a wish if not a prayer? A wish is a hope for G-d or the universe or whatever you want to call it. It’s a hope for something you cannot control to go the way you want it to. “I wish this is the best year yet,” “I wish to have peace,” “I wish I find the perfect place to call home.”
I told my grandfather to ask his students about wishes. Children might not find prayers they’re learning in religious school very meaningful yet, but they know how to wish.
Being aware of their subconscious belief in something greater helped them understand why we pray. Even if your prayer starts with “I wish” or “I hope” instead of “Dear G-d” or “Baruch Ata,” it’s still a prayer to something or someone out there.
G-d understands any language you want to pray in, even if it’s a wish on a shooting star.
Alexis Greenberg is a recent KU graduate with a master’s degree in project management. She is currently Jewish Federation of Greater Kansas City’s digital marketing specialist.
