This editorial was written shortly after the outbreak of the war between Israel and Iran.
It has been a crazy three days. It has been stressful and at times unreal. But what I do know is that I am the mother of a daughter and son-in-law who live in Israel. More than that, I am the mother of a woman who is eight-months pregnant.
My friends and family know that I am anxious, stressed and somewhat neurotic right now. They are reaching out with support and love. I am trying to continue with my daily life, but no matter what I do, my brain and my heart are in Israel.
I feel like I need to share, to vent, to emote, at times to scream. I mean, really! I was just in Israel. How could this happen? I have to get back to Israel in six weeks!
Even my cousins who live in Israel or have their own children in Israel have reached out to me. One cousin, originally from Wichita, asked if I was okay. She told me that her mother needed tranquilizers during the Gulf War. Makes sense to me. Aunt Barbara, I understand your angst!
Then another cousin, who I saw in Israel, and who recently became a grandmother for the second time, texted: “Stay strong.” My response, “I am trying! You too!” She is so Israeli. Her response: “Children are strong. They are lions. And we are all warriors!”
I used that line this Shabbat when I was asked to read the Prayer for Israel. I told everyone to remember we are all warriors.
We will survive, as we always do. I believe that. In the last two years, it has become especially important. We cannot cave to hate.
My daughter recently helped me see the reality. We communicate several times each day now. This WhatsApp chat was classic and truthful.
I start off: “Perhaps when you are in the mamad (bomb shelter), you should stay away from the window.”
“No one who was in a shelter died,” my daughter typed. “And Home Front Command specifically said that the number one safest place to be is in your mamad. So that is where I will be.”
“My heart hurts that you and all of Israel have to go through this. But especially pregnant women.” (Okay, I should have said children as well.)
Then she informs me that a member of her WhatsApp groups of pregnant women gave birth on Friday. Both are fine. But oy vey, what a day. I typed (as if I had any control), “Wonderful! But best not to go into labor during a missile attack. Just remember that.”
She wrote, “Yeah, not ideal.”
In Kansas, people go into labor during tornados and snowstorms. It snowed the day she was born. But somehow, giving birth during a bombing seems wrong.
The conversation continued as we got into what I call the “immigrant response” that was handed down in our family. My grandparents were both from Europe. They hid jewels, gold and money in the basement. I inherited a lot of jewelry that is kept in the bank until needed.
“Don’t worry,” is her usual response. But this time it was a little different.
“Passports and jewelry are in the mamad as well,” she tells me. “A friend and I were talking about the first things to go into the mamad, and I was like passports and jewelry. Then came food. Then extra clothes.”
“Then I was talking to another friend and her German boyfriend,” she typed. “I said something about diamonds, and he said ‘No, gold is better.’
I said, “Okay, I guess a real German would know what bribes Germans were most likely to take, so I’ll be sure to include gold. Not that Germans are the problem right now. (Definitely a Shoah-inspired response based on knowledge about our family who was murdered and those that survived.)
I told her I was sad that she had to think about what she needs to keep in the mamad.
“It is sad, but it’s also kind of our history. Jews – the original doomsday preppers,” she typed. “Gotta be ready to escape and bribe your way to safety.”
“Yes, true,” I wrote. But at least she has a shelter. I have to think of what Hamas did to the Gazans. Tunnels just for militants, the rest left to suffer the consequences of wars Hamas starts.
Unfortunately, perhaps it is our millenniums of dealing with hatred that has made us able to survive. Perhaps being the original doomsday preppers is good.
Ellen Portnoy has a master’s degree in journalism from the University of Missouri. She is an active community volunteer who has traveled to Israel many times.