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Who actually needs to obtain a ‘get?’
QUESTION: Could you tell me who actually needs a “get” or Jewish divorce according to Jewish Law?
ANSWER: Anyone (male or female) who is Jewish and has been married in a Jewish marriage ceremony needs a “get,” or Jewish divorce, to dissolve their marriage religiously in our faith. This is the view consistently held by Orthodox, Traditional and Conservative Jews.
Generally, even if one was married in a liberal Jewish marriage ceremony where the various details of Jewish law may not have been properly observed, still it is better to have a divorce, or “get,” and not place oneself in any condition of doubt as to the status of the dissolution of the marriage.
Obviously, if one has had an intermarriage there is no need for a Jewish divorce since Jewish traditional law does not recognize the status of the marriage. If one has lived together on a long-term basis in a common-law marriage one absolutely requires a “get,” or Jewish divorce, according to all authorities. If one has been married in a civil ceremony and both partners to the marriage are Jewish, there is some controversy in Jewish law as to whether a “get” is needed or not. Once again, it is always safer to have a “get” than not to. If in doubt, consult your rabbi.
Many individuals have been separated or have a civil divorce sometimes for decades and are shocked to find out that they are still married in the eyes Jewish law. This does not have too much practical application except if one is about to marry a member of the Jewish faith.
I know a lot of liberal Jews are skeptical about the need for a Jewish divorce. The best argument I can give is that we have been handling divorce as a dissolution ceremony in Judaism for over 3,000 years. The divorce that we are all required to obtain under American law is only a couple of hundred years old. Needless to say, as Americans we have to obtain a civil divorce in our local jurisdiction, but a “get” is mandated by the Torah.
With the increasing number of divorces in society, particularly among Jews, it is really important to understand the value and importance of obtaining a Jewish divorce. This position is especially important if one is of child-bearing age and is thinking of having children from a future marriage. Future children’s status could be seriously questioned if one remarries without a “get” or Jewish divorce.
I would highly recommend anyone contemplating divorce or even just separation to find out what is needed to obtain a “get.” If both partners are cooperative and talking or even negotiating, a “get” is something that should be put in every divorce settlement. One having the view of “I will never get married again” just does not work in so many cases. Individuals who have told me over the years that they “would never marry again” are often the first to remarry.
If in doubt and you are married Jewishly to a member of the Jewish faith, save yourself a lot of aggravation, and possibly even problems of status of future children, by getting a Jewish divorce. Once again, discuss this with your rabbi, but these are the views of Jewish Traditional law. |
