“Make for yourself a rabbi (teacher), and acquire for yourself a colleague (friend), and give all individuals the benefit of the doubt.” (Pirke Avot, 1:6)
Coming to Kansas City as a shlichah (emissary), I didn’t know what to expect. The people that interviewed me seemed nice and interesting but the place was so far from me and I only had the common misconception that Kansas City is that place from “The Wizard of Oz” and I will probably find lots of farmers and fields there. I was very wrong.
In two years I have made myself many teachers, acquired oh so many friends and learned diverse, pluralistic and welcoming ways from this amazing community. {mprestriction ids="1,3"}I came a shlichah on a mission to teach, educate and connect the community to Israel but am leaving humbled from the impact the community has had on me.
The first month or two were a big shock to me. I had to learn so much, meet so many people and participate in activities and rituals I’ve never experienced before. Thanks to the great support system the Jewish Federation had for me, the challenge was easier to handle. Everyone I encountered cared and wanted to make my stay pleasant and fun, everyone was interested in who I was.
Very quickly I realized how lucky I was coming to a community and city like K.C. The warm embrace I received from the community and the freedom to create my own path in the shlichut (outreach program), made it a positive, fun experience. From conversations I had with other shlichim I learned that the resources and supervision I had in K.C. were significant and impactful. The work that was waiting for me was diverse and opened many opportunities for meaningful encounters with people from the community.
With time I made my rounds and visited with rabbis, educators, lay leaders and professionals. The synagogues opened their doors and welcomed me into their congregations. I met so many people it was hard to keep track of who’s who. Of course I was told that everyone in Kansas City is related somehow so I need to be careful with what I say to people (not that I was planning to gossip about anyone). Names and faces started to make sense and so did the dynamics and politics of the community.
Even so I was a guest everywhere I went and a “one (wo)man department,” I felt part of something bigger and knew people appreciated the work I was doing. During the first round of High Holidays I was going from one synagogue to another accompanied by my amazing host families that made sure I wasn’t alone a single day and gave me a family away from my family to belong to. Two years later, those host families are my family and brought back feelings I haven’t felt for years. Thanks to some incredibly caring people I felt at home to a point that I don’t know how to leave.
The host families were there to help me get started and to introduce me to the community but soon after, I made some friends of my own. Those friends made my time in K.C. even more meaningful. The quote I opened with says “acquire for yourself a friend,” even the sages understood the value of a good friend in life. The dear friends I made in the last two years turned my shlichut from a 24/7 job to a life full of experiences and fun. I found people that shared my values, my frustrations and my interests. They were there to make shakshuka (an Israeli egg dish) and to listen when things got hard, they were there to go get a drink or watch the symphony at the Kauffman Center and to go on a road trip across the Midwest. Like my host families, my friends are the kind you have for life and leaving Kansas City is harder because of what they added to my life.
Being an Israel emissary (shlichah) is not always easy. You come to a new foreign place and need to develop relationships and try to impact people through education and conversations. Being the “Israel person” in the community means you need to know what goes on there, answer questions at any given time and explain Israel with all its complexities to a community that doesn’t always agree or understand the reality there. Being an Israel emissary means I need to make sense of the reality in Israel even when it doesn’t make sense to me and bring an authentic, big picture to people.
In the past two years Israel has gone through a war, elections in the government, civic protest and so much more. There is always something going on in our beloved little homeland and it’s my job to bring it to you with the good and the bad, with the challenges and the victories. That journey of being the Israel emissary to our community made me a better, more “centered” and understanding Israeli. Through those challenges I learned and researched many topics and issues in Israel and broadened my horizons and knowledge of Israel.
Beyond that I was also a student, a student of Jewish life, a student of co-existence, a student of pluralistic ways. I remember the first few experiences I had in the different synagogues. For me it was a foreign world I didn’t know and didn’t relate to. I came from a very secular background in Israel and knew I was ignorant about Jewish practices but I found a community that was patient and understanding. Two years after, I feel comfortable in this world, I even know some prayers and can sing along with the crowd! Thinking about my future, I wonder what will be this next High Holiday season when I won’t have someone taking me to services. I thank all the people that took me in, taught me what it’s like to be Jewish in many ways and accept others for their Jewish lifestyle. I will take that knowledge and understanding with me wherever I go next.
As the quote I mentioned in the beginning of this piece, I’ve made so many teachers, acquired so many friends and learned so much in my two years here and will take it to the next step in life. I hope the next shlichah that comes will have an amazing experience like I did and that you all will give her the warm welcome that you gave me.
Sitting here, writing this “goodbye” piece, my heart is beating strong and fast and my eyes fill with tears. I don’t like being emotional and cheesy like this, I prefer talking in philosophical and ideological terms, but today I can’t help it. Kansas City and the Jewish community have become my home away from home. I have found a community warm, caring and welcoming that is easy to enter and so hard to leave. I don’t really want to say goodbye so I won’t.
The Israeli author Sh”y Agnon wrote “Tam VeLo Nishlam” (done but not complete/over). This is how I’m leaving Kansas City. The shlichut is done for now but my journey and connection to K.C. is not complete. In Hebrew we say l’hitraot when we have intention of meeting again so I am saying l’hitraot to my beloved community. We will meet again and in the meantime keep in touch through Facebook: my personal FB- Yahav Barnea, or ask the Federation for my contact info.
Yahav Barnea serves as the Jewish Federation’s Israeli emissary. Her last day in that position is tomorrow, Friday, June 5.{/mprestriction}