Many of you know that from 1998 to 2003 I served as chair of the Committee on Conversion for the Central Conference of American Rabbis (the international association of all Reform rabbis). {mprestriction ids="1,3"}As chair of that committee, I oversaw the creation of a document to provide guidance for Reform rabbis who work with prospective converts. During the past 30 years I have spoken frequently on the topic of conversion to Judaism, as well as lead many workshops for prospective converts and their families. As I have renewed my work in this area here in Kansas City, I have been reminded of many facts and perceptions that I believe are important to keep before us.
Our Jewish religious tradition has always recognized the importance of welcoming into the community those who choose to accept our way of life. Even in times of persecution, conversion to Judaism has always been a cherished option for some, and in times of peace and prosperity, we have often had many knocking on our doors, asking to enter. And our tradition is equally clear that, when they do become Jews, converts are to be treated as born Jews in all regards — no exceptions. Nonetheless, from time to time we still hear the canard: “You can’t ever really be Jewish if you’re not born that way.” Nothing could be further from the truth. As many of you know, among the most loyal and involved members of our community are those who were born into another faith and who have chosen Judaism as adults. To marginalize or stigmatize them with this kind of statement is seen as the most serious of offenses in Jewish law.
Another reality that I am intensively involved in is the process of how people choose to become Jewish. In particular, I am fascinated by those who choose Judaism after having lived with a Jewish spouse for many years. When asked why they are choosing Judaism now, at this point in their lives, the vast majority say: “I got tired of waiting for someone to ask!” It seems that, out of a concern for the sensitivity of those we love, we are reticent about even raising the issue of conversion. And yet, our non-Jewish loved ones tell us in overwhelming numbers that they want us to raise the issue; they want us to ask; they want to be wanted, to be welcomed into the faith and fate of the Jewish people.
The lesson from this experience is clear. The most effective way that we can strengthen our families and our communities is to ask someone we love to become Jewish. In the past, American Jews have been very reluctant even to discuss this all-important issue. The time has come to bring it out of the closet and onto the table. After all, if we love our Jewish tradition so much, why would we be reticent to share it with someone we love, particularly with someone we are sharing our life? Not in a dogmatic or forceful way, but in a loving, caring and open way: “Have you ever thought about converting to Judaism? You know, we would love to welcome you into the Jewish people!”
If you or someone you know is interested in exploring the possibilities of conversion, there is no better time than now. Just call me at the temple and I will be happy to meet with you personally to explain the process of study and consideration of possible conversion. Regardless of the final decisions that they may have made, everyone I know who has gone through the process with me in the 33-plus years of my rabbinate has told me that it was an educationally valuable and emotionally rewarding experience.
I encourage you to think about all of this very seriously, and if you have never raised the issue with your non-Jewish husband or wife or sister-in-law or best friend, think about doing it soon. It is truly a gift of love.
Rabbi Rick Shapiro serves as interim rabbi at Congregation Beth Torah.{/mprestriction}