Cohn child’s death touches hearts in Kansas City

The week seemed set to be a happy one for Todd and Naomi Cohn, the start of a new beginning. Todd, the former director of the Kansas City chapter of the National Council of Synagogue Youth, had accepted a position in Boca Raton, Fla., as NCSY’s associate regional director for south Florida and southern NCSY. The Cohns were in Chicago for a wedding, planning to return to Kansas, finish packing and move to Florida.

But instead, the Cohn family was plunged into crisis and tragedy. Todd and Naomi’s 14-month-old son, Menashe Koppel Cohn, had to be rushed to a hospital the morning of Monday, June 15, the day they had planned to come back to Kansas. Koppel was gravely ill.
A Facebook page was created especially for Koppel, giving updates on his condition and asking for prayers.

According to a June 21 Facebook posting by Naomi, doctors diagnosed Koppel with a rare virus that had spread to his blood and spinal fluid.
“It’s very, very rare and was not preventable,” Naomi wrote. “Unfortunately, though, it is not treatable at this point and took a big toll on his body and brain. …

“All the doctors agree that only a very big neis (miracle) can save Koppel’s life. His brain and body were too affected by the virus to ever recover back to the little guy that we remember. …”

Earlier in the week, a Facebook update on Koppel stated he had viral encephalitis.

Koppel died Wednesday evening, June 24.

In his eulogy to Koppel, Todd said, “Even on the first day that we arrived at the hospital, when we didn’t want to consider that Koppel might not recover, we were so thankful that we were there, not as a result of an unfortunate accident where one might place blame on another, or sit in regret forever, reliving every moment of ‘what ifs’ and ‘I should haves.’

“And even now as we realize that the outcome is so final and so shocking and so harsh, we’re even more thankful that we are God-fearing Jews with the guidelines and inspiration to cope with this astounding tragedy.”

An outpouring of support
The Cohns have postponed their move to Boca Raton. Rabbi Daniel Rockoff of Congregation BIAV said their belongings have been put in storage, and the Cohns and their other three children will likely spend the summer in Chicago with Naomi’s family before moving to Florida.

During Koppel’s illness, two friends from Chicago flew to Kansas City to coordinate last-minute packing and the move. There were so many volunteers who offered to help that some had to be turned away.

“From what I understand, it’s unbelievable how many people were affected and wanted to help them some way,” Kehilath Israel’s Rabbi Meir Wexler said. Rabbi Wexler is Todd and Naomi’s brother-in-law; his wife, Becca, is Todd’s sister.

The number of people who had joined Koppel’s Facebook page reached over 2,000 this week and was still growing, with nearly 400 wall postings. People all over the United States, Canada and Israel have sent their love and sympathy to the Cohns.

“The family felt a lot of support from their friends in Kansas and Chicago and around the country, knowing that everyone had their little boy in mind and had them in mind,” Rabbi Rockoff said. “They were very appreciative of the outpouring.”

Rabbi Wexler said he had never seen a reaction of similar magnitude.

“They’ve had people from all over the country and internationally. It’s been incredible, people coming together to pray, to learn Judaism, to do whatever they feel they can to connect,” he said. “It’s something that I feel has connected the Jewish people in a very strong way.

“It’s a tragic event, and, at the same time, it’s inspiring people and bringing people to further their growth in Judaism and in relationships with their family.”

In her Facebook posting, prior to Koppel’s death, Naomi said, “The tehillim (Psalms) being said all over the world is amazing! The facebook groups, challah making, machsom l’fi (not speaking badly about others), undertaking mitzvos (good deeds), giving tzedakah (charity), emails, phone calls, text messages — the list goes on…We are touched and honored that our little boy has brought so many tefillos (prayers) and mitzvos into this world. … We’ve been davening for a refuah (recovery) for our son, and now for a (miracle) and that might make all the people who’ve been doing all this davening wonder where all their tefillos are going. Well, they are going somewhere. It’s important to remember to ask Hashem to do things for our good and in the right time. If we ask for something specific, we might just get it, and it could turn out to be wrong for us. …”

Rabbi Wexler said he is certain that Todd and Naomi’s faith that has helped them and continues to help them through this tragedy.

“Their faith never once wavered. Their relationship with family and with God has been stronger than ever and has been a very powerful thing to watch,” he said.

Asking why?
People often ask “why.” Why do such terrible tragedies happen to such good people?

“We don’t always have all the answers and we just accept the good along with the bad and try to focus on what we can do in response to the crisis,” Rabbi Rockoff said. “How we can be helpful; do what’s upon us to do — prayer, charity or supporting the family — that’s what we focus on; not so much in trying to answer the question, because that’s not necessarily for us to answer.

“The main thing to tell the people of Kansas is that we just need to be there for (the Cohns), to support them any way we can...”Quoting again from Naomi’s Facebook post, she said, “It’s okay to ask ‘why’ or feel angry and sad. These are all appropriate reactions and help with the coping process. Accepting that we can’t possibly grasp G-d’s plan is the only way to answer ourselves.

At Koppel’s funeral service, Todd, too, spoke of “why.”

“There’s no possible explanation for the loss of a child. Death in general is very hard to understand and handle, but (for) a small child who never even walked to be taken away suddenly and seemingly without cause, it’s incomprehensible. We yearn for an answer, while understanding wholeheartedly that there is none that we can comprehend that will satisfy our need to know ‘why.’ There is a master plan; there must be a master plan, but we have to admit that it isn’t our plan — it is that of Hashem.”

To visit Koppel’s Facebook page, first log on to your own Facebook page and then search “Menashe + Cohn.” That  brings up a link to a page called “L’iluy Nishmas (in memory of) Menashe Koppel “Koppie” Cohn,” where, among other things, a recording of Todd Cohn’s eulogy can be found.

Trackback(0)

TrackBack URI for this entry

Comments (0)

Write comment